September Poll Results are in...

...and the verdict is: You hate most of these songs. Good for you! Way to break free!

I developed a complicated (not really) scale and awesome (to me) scoring system where all the "love its" got 4 points, the "tolerate its" got 3, the "hate its" got 2 points, and the "never heard its" got 1 point each. Then I added up each song's "score." Then based on the scale I developed for what each score means (I can't tell you how I did it...it's magic...magic that makes you fall asleep), I determined that you, as a collective:

• Hate the Chicken Dance, Cha Cha Slide, Cotton-Eyed Joe, Macarena, and the Hokey Pokey
• Tolerate the Electric Slide and the YMCA
• Don't know Strokin' (neither do I ....thanks "The Knot" for putting a totally made up song on your "must play" list)

The one song that had incredibly interesting results: the YMCA. You all know the song, and 2 of you tolerate it. The rest of you are almost equally split between love it and hate it. Clearly a love/hate relationship going on there. Makes me wonder if those of you who hate it really do love it deep down. I know I couldn't decide, and I knew the answer wasn't going to be tolerate it. Huh.

And no, none of these were played at my and Jess's wedding. In fact, they were all on the "do not play" list (except for the YMCA. We had a special agreement with the DJ that if people kept on requesting this type of song, then she could play the YMCA as a sort of concession. Why the Y? Because it's the one we dislike the least -- AND because we were once the Village People for Halloween with some friends:

As you can see, I was the construction worker. My hat, which was made of the most flimsy hat-able material known to man, was labeled "hard hat." How do you top that? [see this month's poll].
Anyway, it didn't matter because much like you guys, no one requested these songs, which was just fantastic for us).

August "Allele Poll" results are in

Ok, let's start with the results that were not in the least bit surprising:

All of you who voted can roll your tongue into a "U" shape. This is the dominant trait, and it's apparently rampant in the population of people who enjoy this blog.

All but one of you who voted have detached ear lobes. This is also the dominant trait. Person with attached ear lobes: I have nothing to say to you.

Half of you have facial dimples and half of you do not. Having facial dimples is the dominant trait, therefore dimply people like myself are better than you non-dimplies.

Now onto the more surprising results:

2 of you are ambidextrous. Really? Can you also write with your feet? Only one of you, in comparison, is left-handed. The rest of you are right-handed, which is the "dominant trait" (though it's since been pointed out that there's a right-handed shift in the population -- which is why you 2 ambidextrous people are probably not actually ambidextrous and only chose that because you were enchanted with my description: ).

Only 3 of you report NOT having a hitchhiker's thumb. The majority of you do have a thumb that curves when you give the thumbs up, but that's the recessive trait. Huh. Maybe that's something that's distinctive about people who enjoy this blog. Maybe I should re-title it the "Hitchhiker's Thumb Blog." Maybe I should try hitchhiking. Why is it called the hitchhiker's thumb, anyway? It's not like if you stick your thumb out like that for prolonged periods of time, like a hitchhiker would, that you will develop such a thumb. Although, if you had a weird thumb like that, maybe it would get the attention of more drivers. They would be more likely to stop for you just to ask you about your bizarre thumb. But that would only really be an evolutionary benefit if like, the entire population had to hitchhike to survive at some point, therefore passing on the weird thumb genes. BUT THEN if the weird hitchhiker thumb was passed on so much that it began to thrive and become the norm, then it wouldn't be weird and drivers would start stopping for people with straight thumbs... should I be concerned that I'm starting to smell burnt toast right now?

And finally, all but three of you CAN SMELL ASPARAGUS PEE!! Why, then, am I faced with so many questioning looks when I say "I hate the smell of asparagus pee!" in mixed company?! If most of you can smell it, then please, next time I mention it, don't look at me like I've said something like, "I went to the hairdresser's and requested a Detroit!" All I ask is that you stand tall.

Oh and in case you're wondering, here's more on asparagus pee (the ability to smell it, the ability to produce it, and why it's probably your genes and a digestive enzyme that are the culprits):

The good news is that asparagus does not affect everyone. Studies conducted on the "asparagus urine" phenomenon (aren't you glad you didn't volunteer!) indicate that roughly 40 to 50 percent of those tested developed the distinctive odor. Surprisingly enough, there is also a segment of the population who cannot smell the sulphurous fumes of asparagus-laced urine. It is believed that both the generation of the odoriferous urine and the ability to smell it are based on genetics. Only those with a certain gene can break down the chemicals inside the asparagus into their smelly components, and only those with the proper gene can smell the results of that chemical breakdown.

Scientists are still not entirely sure which set of chemical compounds contained in asparagus actually cause the smelly pee. The stalks themselves do not acquire a similar odor as they are prepared, so whatever happens most likely happens after ingestion. Experts believe that those with a certain gene produce a digestive enzyme which breaks down the asparagus into various chemical compounds. One of those compounds is called methyl mercaptan, which is the same chemical which gives a skunk its defensive smell. One theory suggests that asparagus breaks down quickly in the body and an enzyme releases methyl mercaptan, which eventually goes through the kidneys and is excreted as a waste product in the urine.

Others suggest that the asparagus smell is created by other chemical compounds called thioesters. There is also a compound called asparagusic acid, which is not surprisingly found primarily in asparagus. If these compounds are broken down and mixed with the genetically-created enzyme, the results could be a strong smelling urine. This smell is actually considered to be good news, since it proves that the asparagus eater's kidneys are functioning as they should.

(Thank you, wisegeek.com)

"2 Truths and a Lie" July poll results

So, I told you 5 things about me in my poll this month. 4 were true, but 1 was a lie. You were charged with deciding which was the lie. Your choices?

• One of my summer jobs was stuffing junk mail, and 1 summer wasn't enough: I did it for 2 summers in a row.
• If I was offered a job making candles tomorrow, I would take it, and I would be excited about it.
• Though marketing research has turned out to be my career field, I actually graduated with a B.A. in Advertising.
• It has always been a secret dream of mine to live and work on a farm.
• At one time, it was my ultimate goal to become a meteorologist for The Weather Channel.
• I have been a telemarketer and a vacuum salesperson. I didn't sell anything in either line of work.

Many of you were incorrect! Hahaha, I've fooled you!

• 2 of you thought that the lie was"If I was offered a job making candles tomorrow, I would take it, and I would be excited about it." Untrue, my friends! I actually applied to a candle-making position that I saw on Craigs List. (I believe part of my cover letter went something like this: "I would love to bring my skills, my desire to learn more about candle making, my work ethic, and my positive attitude to your company and to this position.") Didn't even get a response, though. Sad. I really would have been excited about candle making! In case you want to go back and check, there weren't any clues in past blog posts about this one. I couldn't make it THAT easy, now could I?
• Another 2 of you thought it was "It has always been a secret dream of mine to live and work on a farm." Ennnnnnnht! I've always thought living on a farm would be cool, working with my hands in the outdoors with nature and animals and what not a tangible, rewarding experience. No clues about this one in past posts either, but you could have used the standardized test taking technique where you rule certain things out based on how similar they are. Ex. Candle making = working with my hands, a more hands-on job. Working on a farm = also a hands-on position. You know I love animals (at the very least, I love dogs - here are all the posts about my little doofuses), so you could have reasoned that the secret desire to work a farm gig wasn't a lie. By its similarity, you might have been able to rule out the candle-maker gig as a lie also. But did you? No. That's ok, though, I mean, don't feel bad or anything. This won't count on your permanent record, and it's not like the bar exam or anything. You're still walking out of here with what you came in with...I mean, unless you put money on it. Then I can't help you.
  
• 1 of you said that "I have been a telemarketer and a vacuum salesperson. I didn't sell anything in either line of work." was the lie. Not the case, and I even have a post to back this one up. Here is my vacuum salesperson story. What you didn't get from that post was that I was a telemarketer earlier that same summer. I was sort of fundraising for this Police Athletic League event, and had to call local businesses to ask for their donation. None of them donated anything. Not a cent! Thinking I would be better at selling tangibles, I moved to the vacuum business. In neither position did I sell anything, though.
  

More than half of you (6/11), though, guessed correctly (ok, ok, or you knew the answer): Though marketing research has turned out to be my career field, I actually graduated with a B.A. in Advertising.
Nope! Got my B.A. in Psychology. Woo!

Thanks for voting-- Don't forget to vote in August!

June Poll Results Are in: G/V & Ts are the way to be

The June poll question was:
"It's summer, my friends, and I would like to know - what is your favorite summer drink?"

Responses were scattered, and there was one "other" vote for apple juice (thank you, my Philly fan!). I'll share some of the "other" responses and recipes later, but let's get to the runners up. There was a tie for second place drink between a summery white wine, a summery beer, a strawberry daiquiri or pina colada... y'know something frilly and rum-filled, and any/all of the above.

And now, the most preferred drink of the summer is.....
....................................
....................................
GIN/VODKA & TONIC!

Some great suggestions in the "other" category included:
1. Cucumber Gimlet
3oz potato vodka
4 slices muddled seedless cucumber
1/2oz fresh lime juice
spoonful of sugar
combine ingredients, shake, serve

2. Sake-Mango cocktail
Mix sake (any cheap brand) and mango (or other flavor) sorbet in a blender. You can vary the proportions based on your desired consistency, and you can even add fresh or frozen fruit if you're feeling really fancy.

3. Pink Sangria -- this doesn't sound good to me, but you might like it!--
3 cups White Zin
2 cups Sour Mix
1 cup Watermelon Schnapps
1 cup Peach Schnapps
1/2 cup Bacardi Limon
1/2 cup Stoli Razbery
Mixed all of that up the night before. Then on party day, throw in 1/2 sliced orange, 1/2 sliced lemon & 1/2 sliced lime, pour a big glass over ice and add a splash (3 oz) of sprite.

Enjoy summer responsibly! Oh, and I almost forgot-- the winner of most creative fake name goes to: SLOSHED (who, incidentally, did NOT vote for any/all of the above!) Thanks for playing and don't forget to vote tomorrow/in July!

May poll results are in: You didn't want to touch the May poll with a 10' pole

Up to this point, readers, we had discovered that you like to walk/enjoy nature, were probably one of the theatre people, and were fun and prepared. We had also discovered that you're sensible, smart, funny, and technologically savvy. What was the main take-away this time? This was a boring question.

Let's recap: Here's the May Poll question--
Of my 2 previous roles in high school musicals, which one would YOU rather play (and you have to play the role with gusto, no 1/2-assing): A gangly, Daisy Dukes-wearing member of the chorus in South Pacific OR the Fakir in The Secret Garden?

And here are the results--


The poll received only about half of the responses my polls usually receive, and that's just sad. Out of that unreliable N, 23% of you were, in fact, theatre people, as I suspected in last month's poll. Good for you!

Another 23% of you would have played the gangly, Daisy Dukes wearing chorus member in South Pacific. I just want you 23% to understand that no, you can't really wash someone out of your hair like shampoo. Also, you probably do have nice legs, but you don't have to wear Daisy Dukes. They may not be for everyone.

I'm not even going to address that "7%" because it was only one person, and that person was me. I'm unique, ok, I get it.

And now for the 47% majority who would rather play my mom: Ok yes, the question was bad and yes, you chose the most clever answer. Good for you. Also, you don't even realize how cool you are: My mom wanted to be an opera singer when she was growing up. So am I to deduce, then, that you 47% really are performers at heart? Yes, yes, I think that's what I can safely conclude.

April poll results are in: You like to walk/enjoy nature, were probably theatre people, and are fun & prepared!

Hello, readers! It's time to find out more about you!

Last month, we discovered that you are sensible, smart, funny, and technologically savvy! Good for you! This month, you were asked to choose your most likely reaction in the traffic-y, no cell phone scenario. Here are the results:(I realize this may be hard to read, but just click on it and it gets way bigger. The point is, you're still pretty.)

So, as it turns out, this poll has resulted in a 3-way tie for most selected answer! In bad traffic and given the choices, 24% of you chose "shut off your car and go for a stroll." I'm not saying I wouldn't have chosen that one, but really? Where are you going to go? The median? Anyway, you're walkers, I get it. Perhaps you enjoy nature? Also, you are probably physically fit. At least you can manage your anger and you don't explode on your way to yoga, like those 12%. (Note to self: Find out who those 12% are and give back the books you borrowed immediately).

Another 24% of you chose "crank up the volume to Heart's "Alone," stand on the top of your car, and sing at the top of your lungs. During the chorus, once you've attracted some attention, you invite onlookers to join you atop your vehicle." So you like attention. Were you an only child or maybe the youngest? Perhaps you were once one of the theatre people? Did you do drama in high school? I did. I was in South Pacific (I was a nun and one of the random singing ladies in the chorus...I think I wore daisie dukes for that show...embarrassing) and The Secret Garden (I was the Fakir [pronounced fahk-EAR], a dead guy who used to take care of this kid and now sings a lot to keep the audience on track. Try saying "I play the Fakir" in high school - you get a lot of "You play the F***er?!" Ridiculous.). Anyway the point is both of these were musicals, so I get your urge to break into song. In fact, I personally was torn between this one and the next choice, "Invite your fellow traffic sufferers to join you in a game of badminton with the rackets and birdies you keep in your trunk just for these occasions" (24%).

Not that torn. I chose the latter. And for everyone else who did: If I had to pick favorite readers, it would be you. There, I said it. Why? Because it pays to be prepared! I actually do keep badminton rackets and birdies in my trunk, right next to my water gun & balloons, frisbee, whiffle bat and ball, and blow up beach ball. (Oh and my snow shovel, because it really could snow in June). And what happened that time I got a flat tire in a parking lot and somebody had to go back and get some tool or another (whatever, the point is there was waiting involved)? We played badminton in said parking lot, and it was everything I hoped it would be and more.

To the chatties (the 16%): Please don't show me unsolicited pictures of your grand kids when you're 90. Other than that, I still like you. Also, I expect you to leave a comment, because you clearly have a lot to say!

Thanks for voting! Stay tuned for the May poll tomorrow!

What the March poll says about you: You're sensible, smart, funny, and technologically savvy!

The results of the March poll question are in!

1. Not shockingly, nobody chose "Strongly Disagree - I don't do it, and no one else should either."

• What this means: You, my readers, are card-carrying members of the 21st century! Good for you! I'm not surprised by this, as you are reading a blog, after all.

2. More than half of you are almost equally split between those who like to keep the menu an in-the-moment type of thing and those who will feel badly about themselves if they are unable to view the menu online before attending a bricks and mortar restaurant.

• To the first group, the "Disagree" group, I must say that I agree with your tendency to disagree. Maybe it's because I'm confident there will be something on the menu that I will like that is also within my price range, so I don't see a need to stress about it hours or days beforehand. Maybe it's that I am slightly lagging in the technology area and, for example, somewhat reluctant to jump on the Twitter bandwagon. Maybe you are too. We don't judge here, we learn from each other.
  
• To the latter group, the "Strongly Agree" folks, I have so many questions! Is it because you get nervous when it becomes your turn to order? Is it because there are just so many decisions and you want to be sure you see them all? Similarly, are you the type to ask "what's for dinner" as soon as you're done with breakfast? Or maybe you're an online menu guru because you love social situations and can't spare a moment of face-to-face interaction to decide what you want to eat? Is it because you're unemployed and have a desire to make sure the restaurant is within your financial grasp? Or maybe you also like to read the reviews of the restaurant you are about to attend? Or, for all I know, you could just be lazy or somehow embarrassed to decide anything about a restaurant by reading the posted menu outside of a it. Again, though, no judgments... just learning.
  

3. Almost half of you agree and prefer to look at the menu online before visiting the restaurant, but note that it won't kill you if you aren't able to do so.

• What this means: You, my readers, are sensible, smart, funny, and technologically savvy. Also, since this sounds like some sort of horoscopical reading, I might as well tell you now that you that an old friend will contact you during the next new moon, asking for money.
  
• Since this is the biggest chunk of my readers, I will be catering to folks like you from now on. Why? Because I like you!