By now, you get it: I have a lot of time on my hands. But you also get that it's the way I spend that time that's interesting. Here's a good one: I googled myself.
Sorry, it's still funny.
Anyway, I didn't just google my full name. I googled the name "Pam." The first thing that came up verified my intelligence: The Linux-PAM (Pluggable Authentication Modules for Linux) project. Well, actually, it diminished my intelligence because I have no i-freakin-dea what that is (and this was after looking it up).
The second thing that came up was PAM Cooking Spray. This made me feel buttery and artificial, like after you eat movie popcorn, and I hurried to wash my hands.
The third thing that came up was the most famous Pam. The Pam whose name inspired instant reactions; from drooling to disgust (and sometimes drooling and then disgust). In fact, in the game of free association, when using this name as the prompt, people can arrive at fake boobs, Tommy Lee, sex tape, fake boobs, Hasselhoff, fake boobs, or Hepatitis; all with equal reason. Yes, by now you must know that the third google entry was Pam Anderson. As a fellow Pam, I must say that it's terribly sad that Pam Anderson is the most famous Pam out there. (Pam Grier was up there, but that might have been the 70s). Really, ask anyone to name a famous Pam, and they say Pam Anderson. How do you think that makes me feel? (No, it does not make me want to get some fake boobs). I would like to see more variety in Pam representation. Even just one more Pam (sans fake boobies) would do it! Come on Pams out there -- are you all unemployed and failing to realize your true potential, or what?
With that out of my system, I checked the remaining google finds on the first page of my search results and found that my name is a very popular acronym: Pluggable Authentication Modules (PAM)...again, Prediction Analysis for Microarrays (PAM), Perpetual Art Machine (PAM), Portland Art Museum (PAM), Pluggable Authentication Modules (PAM)...again...wait just a hot minute. Does that mean Pluggable Authentication Modules are really the most famous Pam, and not Pam Anderson?
That would be cool. To my knowledge, pluggable authentication modules PAMs don't have fake boobs...or do they? The "authentication" part of the name makes me think that they're 100% real, but I'm willing to admit that's a total guess. What? Sometimes it's hard to tell!