There's lots of good news for unemployeds today. First, we won't get the swine flu (because how could we possibly catch anything from our own couches?) Second, we're a target market. Let me back it up.
First, *bam* the economy is awful. Enter bailouts and rising unemployment rate.
Second, we have 'empathetic' advertising.
Third, the ridiculous rise of the Recessionista and the 'being frugal is cool' trend.
Now there's a fourth step in the evolution of this economic meltdown: Merchandise for the unemployed, by the unemployed.
Obviously, there's Between Jobs: The Blog - THE STORE (check out the new shirt!). That goes without saying, and is perhaps the grassrootsy advent of this fourth phase. But now there's more. There are "Laid off need a job" bracelets (in the style of the "Live Strong" bracelets), unemployment board games, and artful t-shirts among other things.
The only problem with all this is that the target market, the unemployeds, don't have a whole bunch of money to spend. Huh. Tricky. But don't you feel a little special? I do. I feel somewhat honored to be a part of another specialized target market. This is good news, as far as I'm concerned! Will there be an Unemployed Network that results? I hope so. In my fantasy, on the UN...
Daytime programming, beginning at wake up time (11:30am): Family Guy, Two and a Half Men, then a cooking show describing how you can make a cheap meal (I wouldn't commit to either "breakfast" or "lunch" there, since it's 12:30 but you haven't eaten yet) out of the contents of your fridge
Afternoon programming: a daily exercise special outlining how you can get rid of that unwanted unemployment fat, followed by a half hour network break so you can shower and continuing with episodes of It's Me or the Dog
Evening programming: shark week reruns, marathons of bad horror movies, maybe some Saved By the Bell...whatever you're going to fall asleep on the couch anyway.
Someone should get on that.