What happened to good jingles?

I was just watching the Colbert Report and there was a commercial for the Education Connection on:



It was like a train wreck in that despite how awful it was, I just couldn't take my eyes off of it. When it was over and I came to, the full extent of how bad it was hit me all at once, and I mourned the simple jingles that seem to have fallen at the hand of these "freecreditreport.com-like" full 30-second songs.

And I ask you, are these new songs as memorable as, say, "I am stuck on Band-Aid Brand cuz germs don't stick on me"? Or "my bologna has a first name, it's O-S-C-A-R...." or even just the simple, "chicken of the sea"? I think not. These new songs can't possibly get stuck in your head (ok, some of the freecreditreport.com ones are catchy) because you can't learn the words in one sitting. They're just not ear worms, like jingles are. They're also too long, especially in this one's case. I mean, "two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun" (ba dop bop bop bahhnw, I'm lovin' it) is one thing because it's catchy and you hear it all the time. But to remember this whole song from a commercial that doesn't get a whole lot of air time (so you aren't seeing it nearly as much as the Mc D's one) would just be savant-ish.

So is the moral of this post that I miss catchy jingles? You bet your sweet Aspercreme.