Friday, April 10, 2009

Foul breath Friday

I came across this ad the other day:

I blushed and wondered: Do I exhibit the symptoms of blog smog? It was true: I hadn't gone outside to do anything other than take the dogs out or go running in a few days now. So there was that. But did I waddle like that guy in the commercial, with my arms all up in the air for no reason? That was a definite "no." Now for the final symptom: the breath. I stopped typing and did the breath in the hand check. It was iffy.

I reflected on this morning, when I was taking Emma and Sparki out for their morning walk. I ran into a guy asking me if I needed my leaves to be collected. I was surprised he even started talking to me because it was clearly passed the "it's ok to wear your pajamas outside for a few minutes because it's so early and no one will notice" hour, but I was still wearing my pajamas. My bed hair had formed a nice little berret shape with an unexpected, rather artful awning in the back. I was even *gasp* still wearing my retainers! (Yes, it is embarrassing to admit that I still wear them. In my defense, though, my high school history teacher ended every class with his crookedy-toothed smile and a reminder: "Don't forget to wear your retainers, kids!" See, aren't you glad I shared? I feel like we just became bff a little.) Anyway, I wasn't at my best and this guy started to talk to me anyway. His mistake, because when I responded to his question with, "No thanksh, but you chan leave a brochure with my landlady," he backed away a little. Whether the retainer speech impediment had anything to do with it, I'm not sure, but it was clear my breath was not-so-fresh: There was nose-wrinklage. I saw it. I wonder if I had talked for much longer if he would have passed out like those folks in the commercial.

Then again, that was morning breath, not "blog smog," and I did brush after that. But point taken, internet commercial! Today, I will have a piece of gum before I make "face time"! That will surely cure my onion and garlic sandwich breath!

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