I would like a title

I'm not talking a normal title either. No, "Marketing Research Manager" or what have you just won't do.

I'm talking about a creative title.

One of my best friends is getting her Ph. D. She drops a few raspberries in the lap of her khakis and all of a sudden, she's "Dr. Raspberry Crotch." Jess just graduated from law school. She sat in some chocolate and now she's "Chocolate Butt, Esquire. " Both are unfortunate nicknames, but funny.

It seems that I would have to both go back to school for something and sit in something in order to be awarded with such a title. It might be worth it.